Hints

When I was first diagnosed, my doctor and I were chatting in her office and I told her that my wife had mentioned it was trash day.

The doctor said, “That’s how women ask for things.”

It was a real eye opener for me. It didn’t particularly surprise me, but it activated a whole new area of understanding.

Now this isn’t about men vs. women.

It’s about the hint.

I started to become more aware of these, and began to find them everywhere.

Since I had been married to the same woman for 37 years at that point—still am; I had quite a repertory of these I could call on.

Isn’t it trash day? = Take out the trash.
Are you on the phone? = Get off the phone and come here.
How do I look in this dress? = I need to hear something nice said.
Have you heard from so-and-so lately? = I want to know if you’ve been talking to so-in-so, because I like them.
Have you heard from that so-and-so lately? = I want to know if you’ve been talking to so-in-so, because I hate them, and don’t want you talking to them.
There’s a piece of paper on the front lawn. = Go out and get the piece of paper off the front lawn.

Get the idea?
But I soon learned that it wasn’t just my wife who utilized these hints. They were everywhere:

Is that your car parked in front of my house? = Get that f’n car from in front of my house.
Did you see that stranger in the neighborhood last week? = You’re a retired LEO, do something.
What do you think about this issue? = I’m seeking agreement.
Do you speak (pick a language)? = Would you translate something for me?
Can you do X (pick a subject)? = Get ready to be tech support.

A normal person reading this would think; what’s he even on about—isn’t all this obvious?

Well ahh NO! Or else I wouldn’t be writing about it.

And there wouldn’t be words like hint, or subtle suggestion or Redewendungen.

Before my doctor told me what my wife was doing, I wasn’t even aware this was a thing.

Knowing was only half the battle, though.

Now that I know I try to have one ear cocked to hear these, but some still slip by.

But, if you’re not aware of this, and think you can navigate without knowing;

Let me give you a little hint!

Written July 13, 2026